ME

It's a subject of mail which is from M.

He said "I can't advise you coz I am the main part of this problem.... I don't want any contact while you are in a hesitating mood..... I really got hurt...."

Before I went to Hongkong, he was keeping pushing me making the decision.

It really made me crazy coz I hate to be pushed.... especially this kind of things.... love afair

When I saw the mail.... I felt so calm and decided to do as he said..... don't contact

Sometimes you would think there will be a better one and I still have time, however, there is nothing in the end because of picking.

I know.... but my heart won't allow me doing that.

I am a picking person although I know M is nice and know me well also. 

I told fish before.... don't let the juice overdue.

First, it's not fresh anymore.... second, it's not able to drink.

Same as relationship.... M just thought I could wait for him and he abused every opportunities, even took it for granted.

He never knows that the juice has been overdue.... but now he is so thirsty to drink it.

Now, I don't have the time for it.... for the unreal things.  

I told him well.... I want real... I want true..... I want alive.....

Maybe love can overcome everything.... for the person who can't provide true heart like me.... it's not possible to make it.

So, I will do as what he said.... don't contact.....

I know I hurt him.... but he wouldn't know it's what I felt before when he did the same.

It's difficult to keep the friendship.... I know him so well....

Actually, another M asked the same too..... also.... I will do the same as he likes....

I am just sick of it.... so sick of it....